I like Food too. I'm just not a douche about it

You’d think one of the benefits to living in San Francisco is all the diverse restaurant options in the area. The only problem is that this benefit gets negated by all the people who think they are god’s gift to judging food. You call yourself a Foodie; I call you a douche bag. These people think they were put on this planet for the specific purpose of judging food. Let’s call them what they really are: food snobs. And I mean that in the least complimentary way possible. Just to be clear, I’m not talking about actual food critics or world-renowned chefs. I’m talking about those friends who simply cannot believe you’ve eaten at the same restaurant twice, especially when it’s not a place they love. These people have basically nominated themselves to make all the dining decisions for your group whether you like it or not. And god forbid you do suggest a place that isn’t up to par for them—they huff & puff and act like you’ve just slaughtered their puppy.

These people—you know who I’m talking about—use words like foie gras just to make sure you know that they know their food. Congratulations, you like good fucking food. I’m so proud of you. Me? No, I hate good food. Despise it.

And by the way, these people are the ones who will go on and on and on about the new restaurant in town that makes the most delicious Juniper Crusted Venison, cooked ever so perfectly. And then they will walk by your cubicle at work with their Subway sandwich for lunch.

You call yourself a Foodie; I call you a fucking fat ass.