City Peddlers Peddling their Shit

It probably comes as no surprise when I say one of the biggest differences between growing up in a small suburban town and now living in a large city is the homeless situation. Actually, scratch that, let's call it the "peddler situation." It would be irresponsible to make the blanket statement that all the people in San Francisco that are peddling some sort of crap are homeless, because I'm sure many of them are not.

Either way, my point is that it can be extremely frustrating dealing with these people. Let's examine my 70 second walk from the moment I get off the train in the morning to when I step inside my office:

:07 seconds: Upon exiting the train & before getting on the escalator, a downtrodden-looking woman sits on the ground with a dog next to her & a sign saying "any help you can give, please."

:22 seconds: At the top of the escalator, still underground, competing "music peddlers" playing their craptacular music. There are the two 20-year-old guys playing guitars together, and then the really old man with the scruffy white beard playing a violin. If you make eye contact with any of them, they immediately motion down to their money collecting bucket. And of course, the competing "music" does not bring happiness to my ears.

:45 seconds: Approaching the top of the 2nd escalator that will put me on the sidewalk, and of course, there's the woman who is handing out free newspapers every day. I know what you're thinking, why complain about someone handing out free newspapers? Two reasons: one, I still have to do the awkward avoidance, not making eye contact move or else I feel bad, and two, I don't read the news so all she is offering me is a piece of junk that'll get ink all over my fingers.

:55 seconds: Outside now, the entrance to my building is only 40 feet away. You'd think I'm in the clear, right? Wrong. There's the shoe-shiner guy who swears he can do a good shoe-shining job in under 5 minutes if you just give him 8 bucks, the "miscellaneous item" seller hawking cell phone chargers and Xbox power cords, and finally there's a minimum of 3 homeless people straight up asking for money...at least "constantly bleeding foot guy" wasn't out today. He's the worst.

And all this takes place in just a 70-second sliver of my life. At the grocery store, these "peddlers" have gotten so good that no matter which way you answer their question, you're screwed. It's the same thing every time...2 or 3 people standing at the entrance holding clipboards. They ask, "Are you a registered voter?"

Your first instinct is to think that they want to register you as a new voter, so you say yes, but then they flip it around and respond with, "Great, then would you be willing to sign this petition for [insert generic, probably fake cause here]."

If you respond to the registered voter question with, "No," they say, "Ok, can I register you to vote so then you can sign my petition...?"

It's a never-ending mind game with these people. By the time I get into the store, or into my office, I'm exhausted.

At least in my small town growing up all they had were peeping Toms. Those guys never bothered you in public; they simply wanted to watch you from a distance. Amen.