Breaking Down the Maxim Top 100 List

Maxim just released their annual "Top 100 Hottest Women" list, and I wanted to open up the comments section of this post to our thousands of readers so they can have a spirited debate about the results. For the most part, Maxim seems to do a fantastic job with their annual rankings, but there are definitely some atrocities in here that need to be called out. It's my duty as your favorite blogger to do your thinking for you. So let me point out the 4 biggest disappointments on this list (as a side note, it should be obvious that I'd probably bang everyone of these girls, no questions asked. But when a respected publication comes out with a "best in the world" list like this, the results better be perfect, and they're not in this case).

#78 - JWoww

Really? The 78th hottest woman on the planet is this person? This is the same girl who caused millions of viewers to seriously debate whether there was a transvestite in the Jersey Shore cast. JWoww is your typical "looks OK from far away" girl--like a mile away I'm talking. She wasn't even the hottest person on the Jersey Shore. Vinny was, of course. (As the person who probably hates the concept of Jersey Shore more than anyone in the world, Freedchips is probably stewing right now...just reading this & slamming his fist on his desk. Careful, buddy. Don't spill your coffee on my timesheet.)


#64 - Miley Cyrus

This little kid made the list huh? Stunning. I really don't get this one, more so than JWoww. She's not attractive, and from what I hear around the water cooler, she's annoying as fuck. I really can't figure out if she has baby fat still, or if that's just fat fat. Either way, the chubbiness that she's holding on to doesn't bode well for her adult years. I suspect she was put on this list just so her target demographic (which is who exactly?) would buy the magazine.


#26 - Kate Middleton

Yup, she's hot. Nope, she's not the 26th hottest woman alive. But you know as well as I do that if she wasn't in the news right now (read: married to a rich, powerless man) she wouldn't be cracking this list at all. So to put her in the upper echelon of hotness is just irresponsible. I was about to list some of the women on this Top 100 who have a worse ranking than her but are obviously hotter, but that would mean naming everyone on this list (minus the 2 gross women mentioned earlier in this post).


#9 - Cobie Smulders

The problem with Cobie is that she can look pretty friggen incredible sometimes (red dress), but she can also look beyond ugly other times (mug shot-looking pic above). And a top 10 girl on this list can't touch both ends of the hot/ugly spectrum. Top 10 is the best of the best, and she's not even close. And most importantly, I haven't been attracted to her since she appeared in a How I Met Your Mother episode looking more manly than the man who the show is about: