Luke Scott doesn't believe Obama's Birth Certificate

Huffington Post - Even though the White House released President Obama's birth certificate last week, Baltimore Orioles outfielder Luke Scott still isn't sure he was born in America.

Scott, who said in December that he does not believe the president was born in America, questioned the validity of Obama's birth certificate toSam Mellinger of the Kansas City Star on Tuesday.

"(President Obama's) birth certificate has yet to be validated," Scott said. "If they can counterfeit $100 bills, I think it's a million times easier to counterfeit a birth certificate, if you ask me. So, all it is, let's just see if it's real. Anybody can produce a document, so let's check it out."

According to the report, an Orioles employee witnessed Mellinger talking to Scott and said that the organization doesn't support his views.

Stop the presses!  Somebody get that birth certificate and analyze it cause Luke Scott thinks it's a fake.  Wait, who the fuck is Luke Scott?  A baseball player?  On the Orioles?  Jesus Christ.  I hate to sound like a broken record but why is this even a story?  Seriously, if you're not an elected official, a journalist, or a blogger with at least 10 followers, nobody gives a shit about your opinions.  Pretty sure everyone on the Orioles has one job.  Go out and lose about 100 games a year while bringing shame to your city and embarrassing the shit out of Cal Ripken Jr. for ever being a part of that putrid franchise.  And while I'm on the subject of people believing ridiculously ignorant shit, I've already had enough of these ass clowns who are saying the U.S. didn't really kill bin Laden.  Or they won't believe it until they see the pictures.  This makes no fucking sense.  What would be the end game here for the U.S. if they didn't kill him?  Just to screw with us?  Or just to get a bump in their approval ratings for two weeks until Osama makes a youtube video and disproves the whole story?  Also, a picture proves absolutely nothing.  You see, a few years ago someone invented something called photoshop.  For those of you that don't know, it's a computer program that lets anybody manipulate pictures however they want.  If a picture is all you need to believe something, just give me an hour and I can show you a picture of me shooting Osama in the grundle while getting BJ from Sarah Palin and fabricating my birth certificate.  Doesn't mean it happened, or does it?

Initial Reactions About the Bin Laden News

Bay Area news analyzing the Osama Bin Laden news.

A few things about this video that either disturbed me or intrigued me:

1). Why the hell are airports in the U.S. on "heightened security alert," and why did the State Department issue a worldwide travel alert? And they wasted their time putting all U.S. embassies on alert? Don't you guys get it? Bin Laden is dead = Terrorism is dead! I fully expected the next time I entered an airport the entire concept of "Airport Security" would be abolished. I would try to show my I.D. to an airport employee, but they'd just laugh at me, pat me on the back and say, "Mr. Rmurdera, your identification's no good here. Go board your flight, oh and feel free to check out the cockpit and give the steering wheel a try during the trip." I also expected the FAA would come clean & admit there was no realistic reason to restrict the amount of liquids we brought in our carry-on bags. I'm pretty sure all the airlines can drop the "9/11 Security Fee" off their ticket prices too.

2). Apparently a lot of people got the news while in the air on flights, with the pilot coming on the speaker to make the announcement. You wanna know with 100% certainty whether there's a terrorist on your flight? Scan the plane when an announcement like that is made. The guy who starts cursing under his breath, arms angrily crossed over his chest. That's your guy.

3). I gotta be honest. I would have much rather seen this happen on April 1st instead of May 1st. It would be so much fun to watch these reporters try to convince people this wasn't a ridiculously unfunny April Fool's prank. This guy probably would have gotten his ass kicked by someone who didn't appreciate "the joke."

4). If ever there was a perfect time for the weatherman of a news program to make up ridiculously fake weather to win a bet with his friends, Sunday night would have been the time. He could announce 9 formerly dormant volcanoes just exploded all around the Bay Area, and we'd just keep nodding and smiling knowingly, saying, "Yeah, but Bin Laden's dead."

5). What do you think is going on with the anchorwoman's face at the 2:07 mark? My money's on an inappropriate tattoo that she got just minutes before she came on the air: President Obama dropping a steamy dump into Osama Bin Laden's lifeless mouth--right on her cheek.

6). It's not in this video, but the next thing these people did was have a reporter start asking random people with Afghani or Muslim descent what they thought of the news. Note to everyone who even remotely looks like they might be of Middle Eastern descent: get ready to have unwanted attention thrown your way just like it's 2001 all over again. I'm going to expect everybody in that demographic to have an extremely emotional answer to any questions about Bin Laden.

Why won't people stop talking about this flipping Birth Certificate?

I just don't get it.  Every newscaster and pundit and idiotic blogger out there is waxing poetic about how everybody else is obsessing over this birth certificate and how it's such a trivial issue.  Kind of hypocritical being that by making that point, they are now the ones talking about it and substantiating it.  Fucking Huffington Post has like 30 articles about it.  I turn on the TV and all I see is Donald Trump spewing fecal matter out of his mouth and more fucking stories about this stupid Royal Wedding.  Meanwhile, there's 3 wars going on, Paul Ryan is trying to privatize medicare and murder the shit out old people, and the entire midwest looks like that movie Twister.  Mass destruction, wars, and flying cows all over the fucking place and all these "journalists" just keep yacking about Obama's birth certificate.  I for one, have had enough of the birth certificate issue.  I could literally go on for hours about how I don't want to talk about Obama's birth certificate or even birth certificates in general.  I mean seriously, birth certificate, birth certificate, birth certificate!  Who the fuck cares?  Check back later for a special 2000 word essay about the history of birth certificates, how birth certificates affect our lives, why they look and smell the way they do and most importantly, did Jesus have a birth certificate?

Mighty God Knocks on Obama's Door, Demands Answer for Easter Slight

From "Now The End Begins" Blog - Obama ignores Easter, but praises all Muslim holidays

Barack Hussein Obama ignored Easter yesterday. He issued no statements of any kind, no “Happy Easter”, no nothing. By comparison he has issued glowing, effusive statements of praise for each and every Muslim holiday since he took office. Hasn’t missed one of them. So it is quite interesting that yesterday as believers celebrated the Risen Lord Jesus around the the globe, that the God of Heaven who controls the wind and the weather chose to strike the White House with lightning. And something tells me that there’s more coming…stay tuned.

On a slow news day like today, I just love it when other blogs give the meh blog its fodder. First of all, great touch by starting this blog post with Obama's middle name...way to get all of your readers associating him with Jihads & suicide bombers from minute one. Very savvy move.

And yes, I totally agree, so interesting how 1 man not mentioning the word "Easter" in public obviously caused God (not nature) to try to strike him down....only, how powerful is this "God" if all he could do was tap on Obama's house with lightning? No resulting fire? deaths? panic? God sure seems like he was pissed off over Obama's slight.

And I'll go ahead and answer the question that this blog kinda sorta asked in a roundabout way: Why is Obama making it a point to mention/praise Muslim holidays but not Christian ones? BECAUSEFun CHRISTIANS ARE ANNOYING AS SHIT. Because for over 200 years, Fundamentalist Christians have infused their praise of God into things like the Declaration of Independence, the Pledge of Allegiance and the Star Spangled Banner (yes, there is a longer version of our National Anthem that includes a reference to God).

So don't blame Obama for being sick of all political things that have a Christian angle to them. Everyone's sick of Christians; it's been that way for like 10 years now. Get used to it. Muslim is in, Christian is out. Plus, if I was President, I'd pimp the shit out of the Muslims--it's called "avoiding another 9/11."

Guy with Pinnochio nose and floppy Dumbo ears is a passive aggressive pussy birther!

Lawmaker explains AZ "birther" Bill

First off, I just want to say how proud I am of the title of this blog.  Sure, maybe it's not all concise and witty like "journalists" would want it, but this title has it all... drama, intrigue, Disney references, and most of all, it calls attention to how weird this guy Carl Seels face is.  It's hard to even watch this interview since his face kind of makes me want to throw up.  I mean this guy's from Arizona right?  Get a tan bro, you live in the fucking desert.  Maybe spend some of that congressional salary on a nose job so you don't look like fucking Steve Martin in "Roxanne."  And enough of this passive aggressive shit, pussy footing around the issue.  Everyone knows you are a batshit crazy, racist birther with huge ears.  Saying this "isn't about Obama" and quoting MLK isn't going to fire up your base.  You don't see Donald Trump mincing his words, and that's why he's killing it in the polls right now.  And by killing it, I mean he's in the lead at about 12% approval or something like that.

Look, if you're going to sell crazy, you've got to own that shit.  If there's anything Americans hate more than an idiotic, bigoted guy with a weird face, it's an idiotic, bigoted guy with a weird face who doesn't have the balls to own up to his beliefs.  You have to go out and say some insane, earth shattering, bozo-the clown shit.  Compare Obama to Hitler or Stalin or Mao, put a red button on your nose and start doing Indian chants or something.  Get on a reality show where you take Snooki and Gary Busey into the Alaska wilderness and fire whoever does a worse job of shooting a moose.  Then go on Fox News and talk about how Obama was born in a Kenyan mosque, and his family planted his certificate of live birth, and a couple birth announcements in newspapers so that 40 years later, he could run for President and destroy America by increasing the marginal income tax rate of the wealthy from 36 to 39 percent and have his wife go all Joseph Stalin on school lunches and childhood obesity.

Obama Rapes and Pillages in California

http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/blogs/nov05election/detail?entry_id=86397&tsp=1

Umm... $35,800 for a single dinner?

I'm sorry, when did California go from being a state with a $5 billion debt to a state where Democratic supporters can throw around $35K as if their money expires at the end of the month?

And what would you say to Obama if you shelled out this ridiculous fee to eat dinner near him, and then he came by your table to say Hi?

If it was me, I'd be continually muttering under my breath things like, "Thirty five fucking grand, are you kidding me, bro?"

If I'm paying that much money to "support" Obama, I better be guaranteed in his Cabinet after he wins the election. And I'm not talking about some bullshit, low-on-the-totem pole position like Secretary of Housing & Urban Development; I'm talking Secretary of Defense type stuff.

Oh, wait, I overreacted. For that $35K, you also get a photo op with President. Screw it, I'm signing up. Friedchips is advancing me 20 years of my meh blog salary to pay for it.

The New Tim Pawlenty movie is gonna be awesome!!!

Glad to see Tim Tim is running a campaign based on substance.  I'm not sure taking the ramblings of some crazy random woman and one completely out-of-context quote from Paul Krugman is really going to sell me though.  I mean, the dramatic music, jarring editing and movie trailer feel of this is all great, but in the end, I'm kind of looking for more of a Stallone or Will Smith type character to run for President, not some scrawny middle aged white dude.  Also, that delay effect on Obama's voice is great.  Really makes that whole "win the future" idea sound kind of sinister... until you remember what those words actually mean.  Clearly Tim Tim has some good editors working for him.  Why not splice together Obama saying how he supports raping unborn babies.   Then if Timmy gets a fake tan, hits the gym for a couple months and gets a sweet machine gun, he can save us from the diabolical Obama administration that's trying to turn us socialist and rape our fetuses.

This is why it's just impossible to have any respect for these guys.  The simple fact that Timmy made the decision to create something like this shows his utter lack of respect for the American public, our political system, and most importantly, epic action film trailers.   Also, maybe I'm missing something but I thought these republicans were supposed to be running against each other in a primary?  Or is the primary just a contest to see who can do the best job of scaring the shit out of people?  Meh.

Uhhhhhhh, what?

http://www.todaysbigthing.com/2011/03/28

You know, I'm sure you're all expecting me to totally destroy this girl.  That's what loyal meh blog readers have come to expect, but honestly, I don't think this is that bad of an idea.  I mean, it is.... and it isn't.  On the one hand, it's preposterously stupid and pointless.  But on the other hand, I think there's a lot of people that would buy these jars.  In fact, I'm willing to bet that if Glenn Beck did a show about how Barack Obama is planning on taking away our air and giving it to the Jihadists, and then did a commercial selling jars of fresh Himalayan mountain air, literally everyone watching Fox news would call up and buy a shitload of jars of air.  Then they'd just pile as much up as they could next to their assault rifles and gold coins in their makeshift bunker.

Also, gotta love the part about everybody's life force being in the air, and how pollution is really just negative energy.  That's some existential shit right there.  Totally selling me.  And here I've been wasting thousands of dollars going to all these places, when what I should have done was just bought some air for a few hundred bucks.  That brings us to my genius idea... if we combine the air with a dvd of some pictures of the other country, we've totally replaced the entire traveling experience.  Absolutely no reason to ever spend money on a trip again.  Booyah!  Gimme my 500 grand, gonna need a bunch of experts and stuff to make this happen.