San Francisco Goes all Hitler on everybody

From Huffington Post - SAN FRANCISCO — A proposal to ban the circumcision of male children in San Francisco has been cleared to appear on the November ballot, setting the stage for the nation's first public vote on what has long been considered a private family matter.

But even in a city with a long-held reputation for pushing boundaries, the measure is drawing heavy fire. Opponents are lining up against it, saying a ban on a religious rite considered sacred by Jews and Muslims is a blatant violation of constitutional rights.

Banning water bottles is all well and good, but why do they gotta go messing with Jewish traditions?  Fucking San Francisco.  They just love banning shit.  Look, I know circumcision may hurt, but that's life.  Sometimes you just have to do things you don't want to do.  I have to schlep myself into crappy Manhattan to go to my dead end job 5 days a week.  Babies have to get their dicks ripped up.  Thems are the breaks. Plus, in the long run, you've just got to have a circumcised dick.  Having sex is embarrassing enough for me already with my weird nipples.  Adding an uncircumcised nub to the mix would Not. Be. Cool.    

San Francisco's Version of "The Cops Cracking Down"

What's a world renowned blogger to do when he has weeks worth of blogging material from Bay 2 Breakers but is also about to have the busiest week of his life at his "real job"? I tell the story through pictures, that's what I do (all pictures taken by yours truly, of course):

Bay 2 Breakers...you remember me talking about it last week? The San Francisco event where police were cracking down on all the partying this year?

Let's see. They started by saying only registered runners would be allowed to walk along the actual course:

OK, fine. So they let a few extra non-runners onto the course. The police can't be everywhere at once. But at least they could cut out all the alcohol from the event. If someone was gonna be drinking on their watch, it would have to be a super covert operation:

Ahh, too bad. The organizers of this event just wanted 1 year of no nonsense so those asshole residents along the route would calm the fuck down. Now we get another year of "the residents are sick and tired of everyone pissing and puking on their front lawn" talk. As you can tell, most of the residents boycotted the event entirely on Sunday:

If only the people who partake in this annual event hadn't acted so recklessly the last few years, 2011 could have been a fun time. But as you can tell, it was an absolute bust.

Buzzkill Killing the Buzz at Bay 2 Breakers

(Blogger's Note: This is Part 1 of a Multi-Part special on the annual epic event in San Francisco known as "Bay To Breakers" (B2B).)

"You can come in costume, come naked, just don't come drunk." - Sam "buzzkill" Singer, Spokesperson for Bay To Breakers Organizers

That quote pretty much sums up what "the man" is trying to do to one of the greatest random days in San Francisco every year. For the uninitiated, Bay To Breakers is a 10K run from the Embarcadero (Bay) to the ocean (Breakers) held in San Francisco every May. More noteworthy though is the fact that tens of thousands of partyers follow the race course shortly after the runners go by to enjoy a day of ridiculous costumes, mind-numbing quantities of booze, and an overwhelming number of gross, old, raunchy naked people.

And now, of course, like all fun things in life, people are trying to ruin it. Earth to Sam Singer: the only reason I'm willing to show up in an embarrassing costume (with the words "dude love" painted on my rainbow-colored t-shirt) is because I know I'm gonna be drunk the whole time. Same goes for all the naked people. I bet they aren't too sober by the time they strip down to their best Adam and Eve garb. So if you want us to show up in costumes or naked to keep the spirit of the event alive, you're just gonna have to deal with the fact that we'll be plastered by 8:45 in the morning. There's no way around it.

To be fair to these pussy organizers, they've been touting a crack down on the boozing at B2B for at least 3 years now, but every year they either back down at the last minute, or the crowds simply don't give a shit and keep on doing what they do best...partying and causing havoc. So I'm a little skeptical that this year will be any different. I've been to enough college parties in my time where 6 cops show up and can't do anything but ask people to shut down the party. They're outnumbered like 6 to 60 so there's no other options. Same goes for B2B, except it'll be like 200 cops to 60,000 people. I think we'll be OK.

San Francisco Pulling a Reverse Robin Hood

http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/n/a/2011/04/02/state/n060018D86.DTL

I can just picture the San Francisco Board of Supervisors sitting around, really putting all their brainpower into solving the city's debt. No doubt they're feeling the pressure of the whole state being neck deep in debt...what to do, what to do. There's a shortage of money everywhere you look. As public servants, you'd think the goal would be to help the public, especially those who need the most help.

Nope, here's a better idea: let's give money to those who absolutely do NOT need it--specifically Twitter. The same Twitter that is valued at $10 Billion right now. The company that could call Google or Facebook right now and immediately make those billions. They need the government's money?

(To be clear, Twitter is going to get extra tax breaks for staying in the city. So they aren't being handed money by the City, but it's pretty much the same thing.)

Reading through that article, my natural instincts screamed "Bribery." Maybe just a very subtle form of it.

And don't even get me started with the argument that all those jobs staying in the city will pump more money in & offset the lost tax money, and that will help the city build up the area where this law is being enacted. By the time that happens, that Board of Supervisors will have changed personnel at least once and they'll just get distracted and find some other bad plan to focus on.

Obama Rapes and Pillages in California

http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/blogs/nov05election/detail?entry_id=86397&tsp=1

Umm... $35,800 for a single dinner?

I'm sorry, when did California go from being a state with a $5 billion debt to a state where Democratic supporters can throw around $35K as if their money expires at the end of the month?

And what would you say to Obama if you shelled out this ridiculous fee to eat dinner near him, and then he came by your table to say Hi?

If it was me, I'd be continually muttering under my breath things like, "Thirty five fucking grand, are you kidding me, bro?"

If I'm paying that much money to "support" Obama, I better be guaranteed in his Cabinet after he wins the election. And I'm not talking about some bullshit, low-on-the-totem pole position like Secretary of Housing & Urban Development; I'm talking Secretary of Defense type stuff.

Oh, wait, I overreacted. For that $35K, you also get a photo op with President. Screw it, I'm signing up. Friedchips is advancing me 20 years of my meh blog salary to pay for it.