The Red Sox Win!

The Red Sox have finally won one, well not a game.  But I mark this video in the win column for them.  I mean, sure they are 0-6.  Sure all their cocky douche-bag fans have finally piped down after what seems like years of Red Sox ball licking.  Sure Kevin Youkilis has been outed as a complete loser cry baby.  But I think I'd want to have all that happen to my team rather than see a pathetic video like this made by a Mets fan.  I didn't think it was possible to make something lamer than that stupid Rebecca Black video, but this Stankees fan blew that shit out of the water.

Woohoo, rivary!  Come on bro, lets at least see some sweet awkward white guy dance moves.  Don't just stand there like a lump.  I think this kid has actually just totally cheapened what was the best rivalry in sports.  Now Yanks-Red Sox seems like it should fall somewhere in between Mets-Phillies and Brewers-Pirates.  Why make this?  Why post this on youtube after you've seen how bad it is?  Why does this video have more hits than my blog?  Why!

The 2011 Red Sox are still in Meh Mode, Not Time to Panic yet

I'm still very Meh on this putrid Red Sox start. I realize 0-6 is just a horrible start to a season where they're picked to make the World Series by most experts. It actually can't get much worse, right? Not only are they winless, and not only have they been outscored 38-16 while being out homered 14-4, but the way they're losing some of these games is mind-boggling. I just witnessed them lose a 1-0 game because of a successful suicide squeeze by the Indians combined with a Red Sox player sliding past 2nd base for the final out of the game. And last night, by all accounts, they effectively lost the game because one of the fattest pitchers in baseball history (pictured above) came in the game for the 6th inning and promptly hit 2 batter & walked another without getting an out. "Beating themselves" doesn't even do this team justice.

However...it's 6 games into the season. If it's a fact that every baseball player slumps at some point in a very long season, then should we really be so upset that all the Red Sox players have decided to come out of the gate in epic slumps? Isn't that actually the best way for it to happen? Everyone slumps together, they get demolished in a bunch of games, and then for the next 5 months, they look like the best team in baseball.

That's how this is gonna play out. Otherwise I'm getting on the Orioles' bandwagon by Memorial Day.

Jerk Red Sox Fan Sounds Like Moron, Fails To Intimidate Son

Hey, Dad, guess what? Maybe you shouldn't give your kid so much shit for liking the Yankees. Guess what they have that the Red Sox don't have? A fucking win in 2011. Before you go being so god damn cocky about the Red Sox, why don't you wait until they start playing like a $180 Million team. Or even wait until they start playing like a $180 team.

Yeah, your kid started crying when you kept bugging him about not being a Sox fan, but you know what he's probably doing when he gets up to his bedroom? Rolling around on the floor, pissing himself with laughter over your ignorance.

If I was that kid, I'd be all, "Oh, really...you, mom, and my two jackass brothers like the Red Sox? Why don't we make a little bet then, pops. If the Yankees win the series at Fenway this weekend, then all of you find a new place to live. And if the Red Sox win the series, I'll move out. Fine by me. I wouldn't wanna be around you haters anyway."

This dad sounds like someone who would chant "Yankees Suck" as the Sox are getting blasted 13-0 in Fenway by the Yanks (which is more than likely going to happen this weekend). Do all of us Red Sox fans a favor, and shut your friggen mouth until Carl Crawford has a night where he doesn't strikeout 22 times. Thanks.